“Us is the seat of closeness. You and me is the seat of adversarial contest. You and me is great when you are confronting a tiger, but less so when you are confronting your spouse, your boss, or your child.”
Terrence Real, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
I am a certified RLT therapist (Relational Life Therapy by Terry Real).
I am also trained in EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy) and Gottman Method Couples Therapy and may integrate those into our work. I also incorporate Hakomi therapy that is a somatic, mindfulness based approach.
I am passionate about working with couples. My style with couples is even more direct and active, but my compassion, warmth and respect for your unique experience remains the same. Intimate relationships touch our deepest relational wounds. That’s why we can be overwhelmed with the pain they bring and often, at points, feel like giving up. We can heal those wounds and help each other in that process.
The kind of couples therapy I provide combines deep experiential work with teaching, coaching and practicing many specific relational skills that will set you up for success. You will learn how to de-escalate, move from reactivity to mindfulness, from rupture to repair, from individual empowerment to relational empowerment and from individualistic to relational thinking. You will also learn to negotiate differences, feel and express appreciation, meet immaturity with maturity and relate to each other from a place of healthy self-esteem rather than shame or grandiosity.
I specialize in working with couples in committed relationships who love each other but got trapped in a negative cycle of fighting or withdrawal and lost the emotional connection or the spark in their relationship.
I love working with multicultural couples and I understand the complexity and specific challenges those couples face.
I also specialize in working with couples where one or both partners are HSPs or have ADHD.